Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lex1459

Online | Search for a member

lex1459

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2823
  • Number of comments : 198
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About lex1459 : You like krabby patties, don't you squidward?

lex1459's page activity

Visits<b>mollykg</b> - 13 hours ago<b>anrou8</b> - 20 hours ago<b>HumbleExistence</b> - yesterday at 3:57am<b>Monieee_13</b> - yesterday at 1:33am<b>guitarmark</b> - yesterday at 11:26pm<b>metizic</b> - yesterday at 9:02pm<b>Dario486</b> - yesterday at 3:00pm<b>pavingboy</b> - yesterday at 1:48pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - yesterday at 12:50pm<b>OhHeyItzNim</b> - yesterday at 12:04pm<b>GnaR_KiLL5150</b> - yesterday at 11:44am<b>acg7</b> - yesterday at 10:34am<b>Drfucked</b> - yesterday at 10:32am<b>sjbartholome</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:06am<b>LordGoober</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 5:56am<b>julako</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:52am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:43am<b>Vagitarian1</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 3:39am

Liked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:35am<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:31am

lex1459's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of lex1459's badges

lex1459's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38447) - you deserved it (3125)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41763) - you deserved it (8765)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52384) - you deserved it (3292)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38108) - you deserved it (7560)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49200) - you deserved it (5202)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17238) - you deserved it (35198)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out why my doctor told me not to mix pain killers with alcohol when I was told that last night I tried to convince a group of teenage tourists that I was one of the nitwits from One Direction, and then got miffed when they laughed at me. FML

#20832639
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17238) - you deserved it (35198)

On 08/11/2013 at 7:23pm - health - by JustSayNo - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51288) - you deserved it (14539)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56353) - you deserved it (6675)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50809) - you deserved it (6467)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56223) - you deserved it (7237)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

#20669510
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41849) - you deserved it (10525)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

#20641408
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49763) - you deserved it (8533)

On 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36082) - you deserved it (3031)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: