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levitate

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levitate
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 November 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 51783
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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levitate's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

levitate's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17791) - you deserved it (9803)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13860) - you deserved it (22807)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

#15066024
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (5776)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

#15057968
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38232) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6866) - you deserved it (93447)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (4118)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I threw my brand new iPhone 4 in the air whilst laying on my bed. It came down, went through my fingers, landed on my balls, then broke on the concrete floor. FML

#15045692
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8658) - you deserved it (67485)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by breakinphones - United States (Arizona)

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

#15038922
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9492) - you deserved it (33141)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

#15036235
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (7752)

On 02/19/2011 at 2:20am - love - by PlayboyBunny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

#15012596
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32708) - you deserved it (3642)

On 02/17/2011 at 3:08am - health - by clashgurl8449 -

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

#15011616
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20803) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:58am - animals - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

#14997625
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (3356)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:14am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (3073)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53493) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML



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