levitate

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levitate

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 59269
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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levitate's page activity

Visits<b>k_cummins</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 9:42pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:23am<b>Thebestinclass</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 1:02pm<b>bobertward</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 7:45am<b>fire_flies</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 4:53am<b>ladybug5546</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 4:31pm<b>ajkahn</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 12:09am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:46am<b>Geiko</b> - the 02/19/2011 at 1:10am<b>Zmeilerr</b> - the 02/17/2011 at 1:14am<b>lBMTHl</b> - the 01/13/2011 at 3:02pm<b>nyrfan1102</b> - the 08/30/2010 at 5:24pm<b>xf0rg0tt3nx</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 12:39am<b>Bigbigbay</b> - the 07/18/2009 at 4:56pm<b>kjm1001</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 9:43am<b>surfbumm</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 3:20pm<b>awkwardmoments</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 4:06pm

levitate's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

levitate's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML

by kelly / 03/21/2011 at 3:07am / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML

by lily389 / 03/21/2011 at 1:02am / Health

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

by radiationkillz / 03/21/2011 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

by WhyMe / 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

by Jonathan / 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm / Denmark (Midtjyllen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

by nosleeptilpissoff / 03/18/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I finally got the courage to say to my boyfriend that I feel invisible and ignored. To this he said 'You aren't invisible, I mean, look at that nose.' FML

by anon / 03/18/2011 at 8:36am / Love

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

by karmavictim / 03/18/2011 at 7:28am / Animals

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

by boom / 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous