levitate

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levitate

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 58668
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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levitate's page activity

Visits<b>k_cummins</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 9:42pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:23am<b>Thebestinclass</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 1:02pm<b>bobertward</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 7:45am<b>fire_flies</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 4:53am<b>ladybug5546</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 4:31pm<b>ajkahn</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 12:09am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:46am<b>Geiko</b> - the 02/19/2011 at 1:10am<b>Zmeilerr</b> - the 02/17/2011 at 1:14am<b>lBMTHl</b> - the 01/13/2011 at 3:02pm<b>nyrfan1102</b> - the 08/30/2010 at 5:24pm<b>xf0rg0tt3nx</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 12:39am<b>Bigbigbay</b> - the 07/18/2009 at 4:56pm<b>kjm1001</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 9:43am<b>surfbumm</b> - the 05/31/2009 at 3:20pm<b>awkwardmoments</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 4:06pm

levitate's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

levitate's favorite FMLs

Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 5:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

by Joe / 04/03/2011 at 3:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading my boyfriend's online diary. It started off really sweet, saying he was in a wonderful relationship with me, and how he utterly adored me. It then slowly progressed into loathing and wondering what he ever saw in me, all because I have a low sex-drive. FML

by worthless / 04/02/2011 at 8:51pm / United States / Love

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

by ouch / 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm / Animals

Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML

by dazzla08 / 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm / Health

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

by jballer / 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

by negin / 03/22/2011 at 3:23am / Animals

Today, I noticed a weird smell coming from my four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet for when she "can't make it in time." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek