Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lessthan0

Search for a member

lessthan0

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1171
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

lessthan0's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lessthan0's badges

lessthan0's favorite FMLs

Today, At My Boyfriend's Broter's Ouse, I Desperately Needed To Poop. After Finising My Business, I Realized Te Toilet Wouldn't Flus. I Ad To Pull My Poop Out, Wrap It In TP And Make An Excuse To Go Outside To Trow It In A Bus. Te Neigbor Was Watcing. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42395) - you deserved it (11457)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seieng that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. real FML

#20874413
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (5335)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of mah breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

#20630276
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (12097)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, mah school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor,ho wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in mah sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56975) - you deserved it (12763)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML

#20617044
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82392) - you deserved it (4296)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

yesterday I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flower and cocolate from an ( Anonymou Admirer ). Se immediately dumped me, saying se couldn't be wit someoneo ( isn't even as romantic as a stranger ). Yep, I looool tink I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55385) - you deserved it (7887)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realizd there was no more toilet paper, so I askd my friend to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50417) - you deserved it (8169)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show mah dad a picture on mah phone, mah boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but u can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65986) - you deserved it (12674)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm he pulled away an said that vagina is like a mask an that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60001) - you deserved it (10773)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Yesterday, at work as a gynecologist, I calld in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticd that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47491) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

in mah job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get poster signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, ( unles your sucking mah cock then get the fuck out of here ) an had the poster slapped out of mah hands. It's mah job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34749) - you deserved it (3103)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Taday my older brother walkd in on mehile I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. mega FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22626) - you deserved it (66242)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I Awoke To My Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, ( Baby You're Making Me Hard. ) Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? ( It's Jake, From State Farm. ) Fat FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82545) - you deserved it (8550)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, mah grlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51223) - you deserved it (12115)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today... I was dancing wit an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me wen e leaned over and said... "If I was straigt... I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40229) - you deserved it (5741)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: