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lesbionist

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lesbionist

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 March 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 284
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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lesbionist's page activity

Visits<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:03am<b>StoicCloud</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 9:02pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 5:16am<b>mufster</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 4:12pm<b>michellet0714</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 11:26am<b>k_gils</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 10:25am<b>skinnyminhy</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 6:21pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 11:51pm<b>6string_lady</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 8:05pm<b>survivialskep</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:43pm<b>DeadpoolTheta</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:14pm<b>4Madden</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:38pm<b>gsaturnglow</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:09pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:01pm<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:54pm<b>fuqmilife</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:08pm<b>joefrazier</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:57am<b>katydid91</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:52am

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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lesbionist's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40606) - you deserved it (5229)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41921) - you deserved it (12294)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

#21134608
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40954) - you deserved it (3527) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm - animals - by gvmfvr - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

#21117346
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39659) - you deserved it (4899)

On 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by burnmyeyes (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52024) - you deserved it (4704)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19433) - you deserved it (44871)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

#21107817
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (41775)

On 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by not a dumbass pothead (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

#21105694
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37767) - you deserved it (4546)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:57am - misc - by FaceTime issues - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

#21104962
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43933) - you deserved it (7128)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (17980)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42476) - you deserved it (4140)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (7950)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

#21095019
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (19278)

On 03/24/2014 at 8:39am - misc - by pantyripper (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42282) - you deserved it (7470)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49048) - you deserved it (3953)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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