lesbionist

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lesbionist

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 752
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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lesbionist's page activity

Visits<b>hobbit_shire</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 2:29pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:03am<b>StoicCloud</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 9:02pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 5:16am<b>mufster</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 4:12pm<b>michellet0714</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 11:26am<b>k_gils</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 10:25am<b>skinnyminhy</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 6:21pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 11:51pm<b>6string_lady</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 8:05pm<b>survivialskep</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:43pm<b>DeadpoolTheta</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 2:14pm<b>4Madden</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:38pm<b>gsaturnglow</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:09pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 1:01pm<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:54pm<b>fuqmilife</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:08pm<b>joefrazier</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:57am

lesbionist's FML badges

Judgmental

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lesbionist's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

by HeartToFart / 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Animals

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

by gvmfvr / 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm / Animals

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

by burnmyeyes / 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

by Motha / 04/09/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

by not a dumbass pothead / 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

by FaceTime issues / 04/06/2014 at 2:57am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

by armtits and big pits / 04/05/2014 at 3:14am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Health

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

by AshleyP / 04/04/2014 at 10:17am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

by pantyripper / 03/24/2014 at 8:39am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous