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Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43907) - you deserved it (3568)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47647) - you deserved it (3402)
On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44683) - you deserved it (26619)
On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84819) - you deserved it (4587)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36773) - you deserved it (3642)
On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4761) - you deserved it (25737)
On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7100) - you deserved it (50832)
On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (1593)
On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12138) - you deserved it (1085)
On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17380) - you deserved it (8154)
On 09/10/2011 at 9:18pm - money - by calebeutsler - United States (Texas)
Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9738) - you deserved it (30633)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (2476)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)
I agree, your life sucks (26866) - you deserved it (3818)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20063) - you deserved it (1316)
On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25426) - you deserved it (9386)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Monday 17 June 2013
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