Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About legitkitty : I hate people who call the ones that look at their profile "creepers" or "stalkers". Seriously. It's extremely annoying. Okay, about me. Ummm... I love anime. I'm obsessed with hetalia. Italy is so cute! Also, I absolutely LOVE Attack On Titan. Eren x Rivaille is so fucking hot. If you hadn't already figured it out, I love cats. I have 2 cats, Mango & Jelly(I was 12 okay!). I'm fairly active, but I do enjoy reading about others' misfortunes and commenting on them, whether I get thumbed up or down or whatever. Uhh, that's about it, I'm kinda-really boring. Thanks for reading my profile anyways :)
You're still here??!? Uh, here's a snake! __________
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I had an IUD put in two years ago that's supposed to prevent pregnancy. To put it in perspective, less than 1% of people using this IUD get pregnant. Lucky me. FML
Friday 24 July 2015