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About legendaryplya : I spent so much time trying to keep things the same, when everything around me was shifting.
I spent so much effort trying to keep going on, when those around me started quitting.
I spent so much thought trying to keep my life moving forward, when my will was being smitten.
I spent so much energy trying to be myself, when there were those who started bitchin'.
I spent my happiness doing what I believed was best for everyone, when they turned against me for not fittin'.
I spent my free choices fighting against our shared evil, when I was tossed aside like a stray kitten.
I spent my dying breaths of outrageously clear dominant leadership, when those stepped up who meant for sittin'.
I spent my personal laws, when I was forced to follow those unwritten.
I spent my nearly unstoppable drive to the finish, when it was stolen from me,
leaving me flinchin'.
I spent my pure fear, when I was left alone, unknown, my time tickin'.
I spent my youth, when it was sold to one who resembles Satan.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML
Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML
Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML
Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML
Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML
Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML
Friday 18 April 2014