About leeshxx : fml is suppose to amuse me when im bored.. now do your job and write a stupid comment so i can laugh.
do not troll my inbox or ask "do I wanna have some fun" no I imagine sticking splinters under my nails would be more fun then fml cyber sex.
Though if you say hello and be normal I will say hello :)
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Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (3397)
On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27044) - you deserved it (7230)
On 04/07/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by 1337fade (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27044) - you deserved it (7230)
On 04/07/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by 1337fade (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I discovered that an unmentioned side effect of my new medication is body zits. I now have zits on my neck, my ear, and inside my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25996) - you deserved it (309)
On 04/06/2011 at 3:31pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40506) - you deserved it (3768)
On 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm - love - by PMSL (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40506) - you deserved it (3768)
On 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm - love - by PMSL (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25067) - you deserved it (12344)
On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -
Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25067) - you deserved it (12344)
On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -
Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (5211)
On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40478) - you deserved it (10806)
On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199607) - you deserved it (58886)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199607) - you deserved it (58886)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461914) - you deserved it (573829)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178208) - you deserved it (61493)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (1935)
On 02/07/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by max (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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