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leelee87

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leelee87
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2842
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14658) - you deserved it (3716)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14658) - you deserved it (3716)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (2179)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

#3333
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8199) - you deserved it (31192)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by Hahaha - United States (California)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4319) - you deserved it (35004)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13729) - you deserved it (63267)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11992) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5645) - you deserved it (16085)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16718) - you deserved it (1052)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9394) - you deserved it (1780)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (5404)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

#1302
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4884) - you deserved it (20442)

On 01/15/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by jen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5239) - you deserved it (42222)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6449) - you deserved it (25288)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version



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