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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (83100) - you deserved it (4514)
On 03/03/2009 at 11:20am - intimacy - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63532) - you deserved it (13059)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (383316)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (77706) - you deserved it (3604)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom when I was undressing to get into the shower. I realized that he was the only male to have seen me naked in the past two months. Then he started scratching the door for me to let him out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44010) - you deserved it (7122)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:36pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47998) - you deserved it (3385)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53378) - you deserved it (586159)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14305) - you deserved it (74835)
On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40722) - you deserved it (7107)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:30am - work - by eggs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17258) - you deserved it (50625)
On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55758) - you deserved it (6610)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by lifesux17 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14878) - you deserved it (49619)
On 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by FMluck (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71450) - you deserved it (16796)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML
I agree, your life sucks (68613) - you deserved it (3862)
On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (60458)
On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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