This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39698) - you deserved it (2480)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15520) - you deserved it (38512)
On 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by Jon (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53445) - you deserved it (5551)
On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53445) - you deserved it (5551)
On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53445) - you deserved it (5551)
On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63084) - you deserved it (12484)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by BerryRockstar (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47614) - you deserved it (13775)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting, I had put the kids to bed, and I was in the kitchen raiding the fridge when I hear the front door open. There I am in front of the fridge holding a bottle of wine to get to the whipped cream in the back of the fridge. Now my neighbors think I'm an alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (6464)
On 04/21/2009 at 12:10am - health - by babyshit - United States
Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10612) - you deserved it (47574)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11369) - you deserved it (101919)
On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (107409) - you deserved it (10687)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to my new job at a pre-school. I was really excited because everything was going so well, and a little boy even said he was drawing a picture of me. He even gave it to me when he was finished. Well it was me, but I was also on fire and being stabbed and shot multiple times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48569) - you deserved it (2368)
On 04/19/2009 at 7:07pm - work - by guessimdead (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53234) - you deserved it (4478)
On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12428) - you deserved it (63119)
On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45084) - you deserved it (14040)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
