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Consolation prize
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Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19177) - you deserved it (3830)
On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (3647)
On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5925) - you deserved it (22712)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41392) - you deserved it (2650)
On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (2958)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39871) - you deserved it (4681)
On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6934) - you deserved it (52708)
On 08/30/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by rydawg79 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (16199)
On 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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