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lauryn_lovely

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lauryn_lovely

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  • Number of visits : 1374
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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lauryn_lovely's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 4:38am<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 11:14pm

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lauryn_lovely's favorite FMLs

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (29200)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38341) - you deserved it (3762)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

#11977098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38849) - you deserved it (5636)

On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14633) - you deserved it (54727)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML

#11859279
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (40368)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by allalone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33427) - you deserved it (4308)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

#11435482
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58502) - you deserved it (12401)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by WorstLifeEver - United States

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

#11434783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89585) - you deserved it (5867)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49615) - you deserved it (17496)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

#10925224
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35751) - you deserved it (4645)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by GrandmaShakers (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (34629)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

#7789192
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12989) - you deserved it (33996)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by overexcited (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

#7461664
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8093) - you deserved it (32125)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by muffincakess - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (5703)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)



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