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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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laurenslifesucks

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laurenslifesucks
  • Town/Country : san fransico, usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 May 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 222
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About laurenslifesucks : allstar cheerleader, phsn.

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Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (65906) - you deserved it (2882)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

#1219528 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (61233) - you deserved it (5200)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

#1218205 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (34532) - you deserved it (6198)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Hong Kong

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

#1215114 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (16802) - you deserved it (30973)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

#681492 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (21826) - you deserved it (63777)

On 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

#618347 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (72959) - you deserved it (11901)

On 03/26/2009 at 4:37am - intimacy - by crap (man) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (78272) - you deserved it (22339)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (120121) - you deserved it (18814)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After i knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background: "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (110142) - you deserved it (4394)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (107208) - you deserved it (5755)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (30889) - you deserved it (135605)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (105346) - you deserved it (26752)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (96100) - you deserved it (26874)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

#300638 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (53963)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342 (993)

I agree, your life sucks (285001) - you deserved it (55502)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)