laurenrachelle33

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laurenrachelle33

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 July 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 223
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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laurenrachelle33's favorite FMLs

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Love

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

by Darkandcold / 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

by lovingthis / 01/09/2013 at 11:48am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML

by finallyready / 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

by gassy / 01/07/2013 at 10:40am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 6:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

by areyoukiddingme / 01/07/2013 at 1:09am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

by Dkim620 / 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm / United States / Love

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

by Twiggysucks68 / 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

by lifsabtch / 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm / Love

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

by ItRainedOutside / 01/06/2013 at 3:49am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I found out that I was pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I got his newly updated Facebook status that read "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML

by kiken.bara / 01/06/2013 at 3:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

by alynna007 / 01/02/2013 at 5:31am / United States (Washington) / Love