Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lamarr

Search for a member

lamarr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 31 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21735
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lamarr : THRASH 'TIL DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lamarr's page activity

Visits<b>3051628</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 2:10pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 6:00pm<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:54am<b>eddie367</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:41am<b>Agnesia</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:29pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:15pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:03pm<b>flamebushido</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:09pm<b>gringa_________</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:35am<b>missy_prissy_</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:41am<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:32am<b>TeamTurnUp</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:32pm<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:22pm<b>julesvasquez</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:32am<b>samanader15</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 11:20am<b>liamtx00</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:12pm<b>EricWinkyFace</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:43pm

lamarr's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lamarr's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

#740213
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19713) - you deserved it (74456)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by whatashame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

#690128
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32831) - you deserved it (72556)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Bucko321 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

#662645
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27601) - you deserved it (77561)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16584) - you deserved it (71542)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
879 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60472) - you deserved it (634306)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

#500940
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64218) - you deserved it (9486)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML

#467270
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20493) - you deserved it (64427)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101252) - you deserved it (45793)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my Father over top of me saying "nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burgler and he knocked me out. FML

#268069
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52258) - you deserved it (8521)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

#261898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39945) - you deserved it (29043)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML

#245096
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46818) - you deserved it (37652)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm - work - by Ricky (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

#197450
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74629) - you deserved it (25475)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by camp (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72864) - you deserved it (15793)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55381) - you deserved it (14429)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: