lalap

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lalap

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35764
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lalap's page activity

Visits<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 10:03am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 12:37am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:27pm<b>countryboy6113</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 10:45am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:12pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:44am<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/07/2009 at 9:28pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 11:03pm<b>innnadaze</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 1:51pm<b>nafur15</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 8:08pm<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 5:31pm<b>athensbeach</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 4:46pm<b>dimesyn2</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 4:40pm<b>Tifoxendine</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 12:28pm<b>assman266</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 10:28am<b>sunshiiiineXD</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 4:34pm<b>bigmad50</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 4:01pm<b>BillyAdict</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 12:26am

lalap's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lalap's favorite FMLs

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

by beatricesank / 05/23/2009 at 10:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, while driving across country, my car broke down while in the middle of nowhere. I had it towed to a mechanic in the nearest town. While he fixed the car, I went to get lunch. The only restaurant in town was an old-fashioned drive-up diner. They wouldn't serve me because I wasn't in a car. FML

by stillhungry / 05/22/2009 at 7:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my company filed for bankruptcy, but the reorganize kind where it still functions. There are no funds to give out paychecks any time soon. They won't fire me. If I voluntarily quit, I cannot file for unemployment. I'm now an unpaid intern. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 2:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 4:36am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 4:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

by screwed / 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

by verycre8tive / 05/21/2009 at 3:31am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent two hours making dinner for my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML

by dole_out_the_fml / 05/20/2009 at 1:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

by emoney / 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

by emoney / 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous