lalap

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lalap

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35531
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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lalap's page activity

Visits<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 10:03am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 12:37am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:27pm<b>countryboy6113</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 10:45am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:12pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:44am<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/07/2009 at 9:28pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 11:03pm<b>innnadaze</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 1:51pm<b>nafur15</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 8:08pm<b>5PoPpIn6DrOpPiN</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 5:31pm<b>athensbeach</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 4:46pm<b>dimesyn2</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 4:40pm<b>Tifoxendine</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 12:28pm<b>assman266</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 10:28am<b>sunshiiiineXD</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 4:34pm<b>bigmad50</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 4:01pm<b>BillyAdict</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 12:26am

lalap's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lalap's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2009 at 2:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

by isoheartcaitlin / 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2009 at 3:09am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

by SummerGirl0009 / 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

by naughtyshirt / 08/22/2009 at 5:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew my girlfriend to Paris for our one year anniversary. Little did I know that instead of going up the Eiffel Tower and over looking the most romantic city she would rather spend it in bed with a French man. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 5:42am / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Love

Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML

by rivercitybarf / 08/08/2009 at 4:48am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML

by dentistftw / 08/08/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML

by madaskueuchiha / 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

by Momlovesme / 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous