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Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35685) - you totally deserved it (4147)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31119) - you totally deserved it (1483)
On 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)
Today, after a long stressful day, my boyfriend and I decided to take a shower together. As I'm telling him all about my day, I suddenly felt something warm on my foot, only to look down and see him peeing on me. When I asked what he was doing he said "I'm marking my territory, you're mine now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46010) - you totally deserved it (8506)
On 07/24/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Surprise (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36146) - you totally deserved it (1434)
On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33314) - you totally deserved it (4566)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it? FML
I agree, your life sucks (32896) - you totally deserved it (1382)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm - work - by KP (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, the cops showed up to check out a child abuse complaint, I then had to spend an hour explaining that I had given my son a suppository. The neighbors heard him sobbing hysterically "Daddy, why did you put that in my butt? It hurts." My neighbor had heard and thought I was raping my son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53943) - you totally deserved it (2299)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16157) - you totally deserved it (42945)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by FattyMcFatterson (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41302) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you totally deserved it (1733)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by JustAGiftCardPlease (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48580) - you totally deserved it (3072)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30839) - you totally deserved it (1322)
On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my "touch me not" cat jumped next to me acting as if she wanted to be pet... No, she jumped next to me to share her nasty fart. I need a new kitty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8297) - you totally deserved it (2219)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)
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