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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23205) - you deserved it (2297)
On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91413) - you deserved it (10764)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34490) - you deserved it (4376)
On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (2394)
On 10/14/2010 at 3:15am - misc - by A. - United States
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20627) - you deserved it (3382)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31142) - you deserved it (7586)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (6101)
On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14337) - you deserved it (1765)
On 01/15/2010 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out my boyfriends' mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (3947)
On 01/15/2010 at 6:37am - love - by Jumja (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5887) - you deserved it (22063)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36444) - you deserved it (3011)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)
Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8881) - you deserved it (22496)
On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7219) - you deserved it (31709)
On 11/27/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Thanks (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5550) - you deserved it (23462)
On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - animals - by jaydiv (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (2337)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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