About ladydragonstars : I do not wish to tell you about me.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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ladydragonstars's favorite FMLs
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by corasmom / 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by handyman13 / 07/25/2011 at 1:43am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML
by Lonely / 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML
by Baconcook3000 / 07/23/2011 at 7:00am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML
by zerom / 07/22/2011 at 8:52pm / France / Money
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
by dontfencemein / 07/22/2011 at 12:25am / United States / Money
Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML
by dullstuff / 07/21/2011 at 8:34am / Belgium (Liege) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
by rbeast / 07/21/2011 at 12:10am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
by John / 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
by lizownsvirgy / 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…