Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About ladyLALAA : Once upon another time, there was a fox, and he was called Jerome. He lived in the woods, in Elderberry Wood. His friends were Nicholas the Tennis Rat and Dante the Racist Badger.
They spent their days punting down the lazy rivers of Cambridge town. Occasionally would eat a cucumber sandwich and sit under Mr. Willow the Tree.
One day, whilst relaxing, he found a copy of Cheekbone Magazine. It was in the bush. And he read an article about London life. He read it over and over, and over, and over again, and over. And then, decided he was gonna go to London! His friends said, "No! You can't go!" But he decided he was gonna, 'cause he was a willfulll little fox, and he set off to the town.
Three days later, he was off his tiny face in a gay club. Woohoo! The fun, fun times for him! But the party lifestyle took its toll. Eventually he ended up on the streets, begging for cheese in Dalston.
That fox, my friend, was none other than me, the Crack Fox. CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Today, I've been diagnosed with a severe lung infection. This causes me to viciously hack up a lung every two minutes or so. Not only can I barely breathe as it is, my job requires lots of running around, cleaning and interacting with customers. I have a five-hour shift tonight. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML
Thursday 10 April 2014