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l_m_j_FML

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l_m_j_FML

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 753
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About l_m_j_FML : let's hear about you first

l_m_j_FML's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:25am<b>DMAN4219</b> - the 04/15/2010 at 4:06pm<b>Daaniellee1234</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 10:48pm

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l_m_j_FML's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

#4960471
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35003) - you deserved it (2511)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60236) - you deserved it (6335)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63113) - you deserved it (12244)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47000) - you deserved it (18142)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

#3085922
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55017) - you deserved it (2966)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:05am - intimacy - by Steph (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84440) - you deserved it (20498)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I realized that my father's weekly unemployment check is more than my bi-weekly pay check. My full time job pays less than my father's unemployment. FML

#2015080
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58894) - you deserved it (4679)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:42pm - money - by thatsucks (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29018) - you deserved it (86282)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71778) - you deserved it (42834)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (280820) - you deserved it (17793)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

#966967
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71046) - you deserved it (25456)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17965) - you deserved it (85415)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (5338)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)



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