kyani

Search for a member

kyani

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 April 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2570
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

kyani's page activity

Visits<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 10:55pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 9:12am<b>refticon</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:02pm<b>tedbundy29</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 4:32pm<b>mulan_</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Jimo</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:22am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 6:55am<b>ThatGingerKid56</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 7:18pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:33pm<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:31pm<b>whinthy</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 11:39am<b>saliwells1</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:28pm<b>hardflip95</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 1:31pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:52pm<b>hailey2649</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:21pm<b>Myndiva</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:57am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 2:19pm<b>thebeast74</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:38am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 3:11pm<b>refticon</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:02pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:52pm

kyani's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of kyani's badges

kyani's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

by uneek14 / 06/23/2009 at 10:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love