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Offline (the 11/10/2015 at 6:49pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 March 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 933
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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kurofjones's page activity

Visits<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:05pm<b>animalover9</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 9:34pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Jingo44</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:38am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:18am<b>idkman222</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:19pm<b>conman531</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 3:44pm<b>emptym777</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:02pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 5:41am<b>SaphiraSR</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Oddire</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:17pm<b>DaggNabbit</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 11:19pm<b>bubblooz</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 8:11am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:11am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Eion</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 9:46am<b>martini47</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 9:06am

kurofjones's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of kurofjones's badges

kurofjones's favorite FMLs

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

by lol112 / 06/02/2012 at 8:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

by dukebluedevils13 / 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

by Brian / 10/26/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy