kurofjones

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Offline (the 11/10/2015 at 6:49pm)

kurofjones

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 March 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 898
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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kurofjones's page activity

Visits<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:05pm<b>animalover9</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 9:34pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Jingo44</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:38am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:18am<b>idkman222</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:19pm<b>conman531</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 3:44pm<b>emptym777</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:02pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 5:41am<b>SaphiraSR</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Oddire</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:17pm<b>DaggNabbit</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 11:19pm<b>bubblooz</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 8:11am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:11am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Eion</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 9:46am<b>martini47</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 9:06am

kurofjones's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of kurofjones's badges

kurofjones's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Geek

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

by outthelabyrynth / 03/17/2014 at 3:41pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

by obnum / 05/24/2013 at 8:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

by seriously / 05/24/2013 at 3:04am / United States / Animals

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

by serialkillingex / 05/07/2013 at 3:45am / Netherlands / Love

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

by itsellie27 / 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

by SecondBest,IGuess / 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

by sanoria51 / 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

by Magicali / 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 3:54am / United States (Illinois) / Work