Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kuntageous

Search for a member

kuntageous
  • Town/Country : canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 June 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1406
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kuntageous's last visitors

origamidragonthtpersonbriebrianaloveComMeNeMoMoBellaBear90gsssxr600

kuntageous's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kuntageous's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend finally got a job. As a clown. FML

#12304644
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (7747)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:28am - work - by Ploeboi (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10611) - you deserved it (105602)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (46065)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I cycled past a group of middle school kids. They decided that they should all start shouting "FAT ALERT" while ringing the bells on their bikes. FML

#12011441
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23722) - you deserved it (6163)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:57pm - health - by fattysonparade (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36087) - you deserved it (9467)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17362) - you deserved it (3942)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17682) - you deserved it (3710)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

#9047777
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (2392)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:16pm - money - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6551) - you deserved it (23655)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17726) - you deserved it (33672)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

#8883543
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7420) - you deserved it (31833)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

#8796433
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (2874)

On 03/03/2010 at 10:09am - health - by icegirl (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML

#8767349
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25243) - you deserved it (3832)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:14am - love - by BirthdayGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38696) - you deserved it (8816)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML

#8678554
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24236) - you deserved it (4838)

On 02/27/2010 at 12:02am - love - by dino317 (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: