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I agree, their lives suck
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Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26298) - you deserved it (2657)
On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40590) - you deserved it (2701)
On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39547) - you deserved it (16383)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34126) - you deserved it (3525)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40920) - you deserved it (2567)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40866) - you deserved it (3818)
On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, days after I broke up with my girlfriend, my dad tried to make her feel better by inviting her to our family BBQ next weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38055) - you deserved it (4181)
On 06/09/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50896) - you deserved it (8936)
On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by jack - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (7168)
On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42474) - you deserved it (13555)
On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps randomly spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38633) - you deserved it (6230)
On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
I agree, your life sucks (59514) - you deserved it (3298)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35652) - you deserved it (12538)
On 06/02/2013 at 12:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42486) - you deserved it (2830)
On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43222) - you deserved it (3391)
On 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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