Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

kuddles

Offline (the 07/27/2014 at 5:49pm) | Search for a member

kuddles

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 April 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2342
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

kuddles's page activity

Visits<b>sroseh10</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 11:54pm<b>pictato</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:14am<b>Fonzo_23</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:43pm<b>Amanda_TakeCaree</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 4:13pm<b>kimmi5</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 12:11am<b>patches116</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 9:09pm<b>davlosthisid42</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 7:52am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 4:18am<b>f36k</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 1:54am<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 1:21am<b>HappynessSA</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 8:36am<b>Anarchy66</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 4:16am<b>Emilscav</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:27pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 4:41pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:09pm<b>ItzJT</b> - the 08/18/2011 at 3:41am<b>btmicm</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 4:03pm<b>Edgar210</b> - the 08/17/2010 at 3:33am

kuddles's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of kuddles's badges

kuddles's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33428) - you deserved it (10958)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (14700)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56042) - you deserved it (9299)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

#20710993
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40510) - you deserved it (4925)

On 06/07/2013 at 12:33am - animals - by Damn Cat - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58900) - you deserved it (5769)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (3051)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33134) - you deserved it (4456)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35554) - you deserved it (6075)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29328) - you deserved it (3981)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34134) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (4600)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34129) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (3431)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21968) - you deserved it (2465)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22689) - you deserved it (4064)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: