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kturtle92

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kturtle92

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  • Number of visits : 139
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kturtle92's page activity

Visits<b>miwako</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 10:32pm<b>MeCoCo</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 11:08am<b>infamous1212</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 11:02pm

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

kturtle92's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35881) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
679 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30256) - you deserved it (49244)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36102) - you deserved it (4352)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37930) - you deserved it (17656)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML

#6515596
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (5022)

On 11/29/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML

#5518308
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (3349)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by NiHao (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

#225937
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (63066)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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