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kturtle92

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kturtle92

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  • Number of visits : 113
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kturtle92's page activity

Visits<b>miwako</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 10:32pm<b>MeCoCo</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 11:08am<b>infamous1212</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 11:02pm

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

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kturtle92's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30854) - you deserved it (2308)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML

#18606973
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13448) - you deserved it (25483)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by John Nani (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

#18594969
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15593) - you deserved it (38705)

On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

#18550642
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28122) - you deserved it (2868)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (39982)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (5107)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

#18417096
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9923) - you deserved it (31230)

On 12/03/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by Makala - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53519) - you deserved it (2979)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66606) - you deserved it (3227)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML

#18343392
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31697) - you deserved it (3986)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Jessie - United States

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

#18072512
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36104) - you deserved it (5657)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML

#18070147
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22765) - you deserved it (3774)

On 10/25/2011 at 3:10am - love - by SNBBFF - United States (Florida)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32818) - you deserved it (9217)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (6094)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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