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Mobility
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50 favourites
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It’s in the can
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Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8087) - you deserved it (21628)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5053) - you deserved it (22849)
On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (4127)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (6932)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16211) - you deserved it (6379)
On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (5916)
On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)
Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16018) - you deserved it (1735)
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (2457)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7970) - you deserved it (16215)
On 02/25/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by KMO - United States
Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (1842)
On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18822) - you deserved it (1706)
On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33976) - you deserved it (1915)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (7592)
On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15116) - you deserved it (3792)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you deserved it (1685)
On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)
Monday 17 June 2013
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