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kturtle92

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kturtle92

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  • Number of visits : 121
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kturtle92's page activity

Visits<b>miwako</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 10:32pm<b>MeCoCo</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 11:08am<b>infamous1212</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 11:02pm

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

kturtle92's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML

#19277494
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24873) - you deserved it (5980)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm - health - by braceface - United States

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10481) - you deserved it (32089)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7021) - you deserved it (33236)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34865) - you deserved it (5451)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25212) - you deserved it (7719)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

#19205582
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (8746)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31591) - you deserved it (7806)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30384) - you deserved it (2845)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

#19164325
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10398) - you deserved it (24610)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by KMO - United States

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

#19157991
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (2471)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40249) - you deserved it (9634)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

#18778182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20151) - you deserved it (5120)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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