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kturtle92's FML badges
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kturtle92's favorite FMLs
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by a / 03/29/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Sarah / 03/26/2012 at 7:14am / United States / Love
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by uh-oh / 03/25/2012 at 1:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by nazooer / 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm / United States / Health
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by notsober / 03/20/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Love
by FoodyFood / 03/19/2012 at 12:59am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love
by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 2:02am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
by muzikmaler91 / 03/15/2012 at 5:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around on camera. I was mostly naked and putting on a show… Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told… Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send"…