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kturtle92's FML badges
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kturtle92's favorite FMLs
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by a / 03/29/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Sarah / 03/26/2012 at 7:14am / United States / Love
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by uh-oh / 03/25/2012 at 1:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by nazooer / 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm / United States / Health
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by notsober / 03/20/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Love
by FoodyFood / 03/19/2012 at 12:59am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love
by Redhead4life / 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 2:02am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML
by muzikmaler91 / 03/15/2012 at 5:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…