About ktumbler : I don't see the point of the about section. It's fml not eharmony. Anyway, I'm Kass. Wuddup?
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ktumbler's favorite FMLs
by anonymous.. / 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML
by klutz / 08/25/2010 at 12:14am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by jk2010 / 02/03/2010 at 12:44pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Transportation
by firstdate / 01/24/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML
by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 1:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
by dumbass / 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML
by whoneedsdumbcars / 08/14/2009 at 4:29am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
Today, my mom and dad were arguing. It started getting really heated, so I tried to go break it up. But within a couple of minutes, my mom wanted to make a statement by throwing a plate to the ground, forgetting I was beside her. I now have a throbbing foot with shards of glass in it. FML
by Sadasian / 08/14/2009 at 2:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML
by HorrorByrd / 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by OUCH / 05/19/2009 at 1:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML
by clementine_k / 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I accompanied some friends to sign up for a gym. When we got there, the guy handed me a form, too. I said, "Oh, I'm not signing up." He replied, "Out of all of you, you need it the most." He then said he was also a nutritionist, and offered a consultation. FML
by charpanda007 / 02/15/2009 at 8:56am / Hong Kong / Health
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…