ktizzley2k

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ktizzley2k

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 559
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ktizzley2k : Get off my ovaries with your lame shit, bro.

ktizzley2k's page activity

Visits<b>rabbiddog</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 9:15am<b>ratman775</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:53am<b>IJG2000</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06pm<b>BigNig313</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 3:12pm<b>Silvon14</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 1:41pm<b>stoneyy</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 10:52am<b>zero_123</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 4:48am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 7:46am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 3:01am<b>SatanP13</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 11:04am<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 6:28pm<b>ElliotC</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 1:23pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/01/2012 at 11:08am<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 11:25am<b>goebsy</b> - the 08/13/2011 at 10:40pm<b>ryuji</b> - the 08/13/2011 at 8:58pm<b>bullrider92</b> - the 08/13/2011 at 5:50pm

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ktizzley2k's favorite FMLs

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Health

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

by HELP / 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

by fuq / 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML

by angry girlfriend / 05/22/2012 at 10:32am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I got a ticket for panhandling to get gas money so that I could both drive out to a job interview AND still have enough gas to pick up my dad. Apparently, these particular cops had nothing better to do than harass me for standing quietly next to a freeway entrance with a silly sign. FML

by Starving Student / 05/16/2012 at 11:42pm / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

by drastech99 / 09/23/2011 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 9:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

by socks / 09/21/2011 at 3:01am / United States / Animals

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML

by anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

by ewicsmelly / 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health