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50 favourites
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Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23007) - you deserved it (3492)
On 12/22/2011 at 5:05pm - animals - by shrdlu (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (4672)
On 11/27/2011 at 3:58am - love - by good citizen - United States
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29079) - you deserved it (3680)
On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States
Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13071) - you deserved it (26884)
On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to break up with him since he's always busy, and I haven't seen or spoke to him in almost 2 months. I arrived to find out from his landlord that he'd moved out 3 weeks ago, leaving a note saying that we were over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (5656)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:21am - love - by melikeyturtles - United States
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to break up with him since he's always busy, and I haven't seen or spoke to him in almost 2 months. I arrived to find out from his landlord that he'd moved out 3 weeks ago, leaving a note saying that we were over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (5656)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:21am - love - by melikeyturtles - United States
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to break up with him since he's always busy, and I haven't seen or spoke to him in almost 2 months. I arrived to find out from his landlord that he'd moved out 3 weeks ago, leaving a note saying that we were over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (5656)
On 11/02/2011 at 1:21am - love - by melikeyturtles - United States
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9834) - you deserved it (30023)
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28188) - you deserved it (2459)
On 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by rockyrocket (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17565) - you deserved it (34908)
On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42179) - you deserved it (4476)
On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18090) - you deserved it (10145)
On 04/09/2011 at 12:01am - health - by FistFighter (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38950) - you deserved it (7130)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14757) - you deserved it (24297)
On 03/08/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23318) - you deserved it (9481)
On 03/07/2011 at 5:23pm - misc - by chelsea -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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