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krystal1609's favorite FMLs
by kronin / 10/12/2010 at 6:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML
by Anonymous / 09/24/2010 at 7:25am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone / 09/23/2010 at 7:01am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Geek
by TowelSmellsNice / 04/16/2010 at 8:34am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Health
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
Today, I work at McDonalds. I burned my hand while cleaning their grill and have a 2nd/3rd degree burn from my pinky to my wrist. When told about this, my manager told me that there was "nothing that they could do for me and to tough it out". However I was given a free McFlurry. FML
by Enrique / 02/06/2010 at 8:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML
by GlassPwn / 12/19/2009 at 12:01am / United States / Miscellaneous
by PhDdaughter / 12/04/2009 at 5:16am / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 7 year old brother decided that it would be fun to cut off my hair. I woke from a long nap after working the late shift, to about 15 inches of my long blonde hair all over my bed and floor. I now have bloody bald spots and really choppy hair about 3 inches long. He got away with it. FML
by baldygirl / 11/02/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML
by Humiliated / 09/14/2009 at 8:58am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML
by nick2.0 / 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…