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krow28's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Uncomfy / 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
by Rob / 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm / Greece (Attiki) / Intimacy
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
by Tom Ali / 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy
by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by BKCK4187 / 12/19/2011 at 10:23pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…