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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had a 3rd date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52475) - you deserved it (3741)
On 06/05/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by shescomfortablynumb (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had the closing shift at work in a cafe and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee she grabbed my arm and said 'I think that man is masturbating' and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51990) - you deserved it (2821)
On 06/05/2009 at 3:43am - intimacy - by MBG (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7233) - you deserved it (113224)
On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56514) - you deserved it (2674)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7300) - you deserved it (82978)
On 06/04/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother in law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother in law to be." And then I saw her name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60012) - you deserved it (2133)
On 06/04/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12645) - you deserved it (7620)
On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139840) - you deserved it (32566)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112451) - you deserved it (9396)
On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait
Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43705) - you deserved it (1898)
On 05/08/2009 at 2:14pm - misc - by Aisu (man) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65719) - you deserved it (2753)
On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26191) - you deserved it (62978)
On 05/05/2009 at 3:43am - love - by sunboy52 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14204) - you deserved it (46380)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10954) - you deserved it (73418)
On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (9961)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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