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Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (3750) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10297) - you deserved it (52557)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8451) - you deserved it (32575)
On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29828) - you deserved it (5587)
On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23643) - you deserved it (4410)
On 05/14/2011 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (13114)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30737) - you deserved it (5360)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23049) - you deserved it (5058)
On 02/27/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had to present a powerpoint in front of my class. When I was finished, no one clapped. On my way back to my seat, I slipped on a pencil and fell straight on my face. That's when everyone clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (3207)
On 02/26/2011 at 12:34am - misc - by Franigirl - United States (Virginia)
Today, I discovered that I can fit back into the clothes I wore in High School. I was proud of this until my husband told me that I look like a stuffed sausage in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (7807)
On 02/25/2011 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12839) - you deserved it (34940)
On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (28481)
On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38270) - you deserved it (10980)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8270) - you deserved it (36278)
On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29320) - you deserved it (9910)
On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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