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krisb1991

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krisb1991
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 439
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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krisb1991's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44126) - you deserved it (8911)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26124) - you deserved it (2255)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

#14955140
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21832) - you deserved it (4625)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered out of the 20 job applications only one job called me for an interview. They told me to leave after two sentences. FML

#14954069
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (7437)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:31am - work - by jobless - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML

#14952772
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8791) - you deserved it (48874)

On 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Hailey - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML

#14945548
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21522) - you deserved it (15533)

On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

#14944090
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27860) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53423) - you deserved it (4132)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML

#14938952
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (3544)

On 02/11/2011 at 7:08pm - misc - by loner - United States (California)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (3236)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

#14934394
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (2748)

On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

#14932572
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17161) - you deserved it (3339)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:54am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

#14932173
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (3353)

On 02/11/2011 at 3:27am - work - by alliwantisabandaid -

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

#14931650
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31490) - you deserved it (3704)

On 02/11/2011 at 2:04am - health - by Eres (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML



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