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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2076
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About kotton720 : just here for laughs

kotton720's page activity

Visits<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 11:41am<b>moldypickles</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:29pm<b>Negroesinparis</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:29pm<b>styles829</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:16pm<b>velocityraptor</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:54pm<b>azelk</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 8:22pm<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:25pm<b>PageantGirlXOXO</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:16pm<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:23am<b>SirBailey</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 12:09am<b>DarkMirror</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 12:38pm<b>mogan</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 12:22am<b>Jaxro</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 3:44pm<b>Masta_Blasta</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 3:22am<b>theoffkid</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 1:03am<b>hey_fml</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 12:17pm<b>citylights</b> - the 03/21/2009 at 10:21pm<b>crs255</b> - the 03/21/2009 at 1:50am

kotton720's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

kotton720's favorite FMLs

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

by ineedalifekay / 05/24/2009 at 2:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

by sucksforme. / 05/10/2009 at 1:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

by Failoffel / 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

by lalanon / 04/03/2009 at 1:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML

by uofpalum / 03/18/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Health

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

by Melaknee / 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML

by Marcela / 03/18/2009 at 9:47am / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

by lemonjuice / 03/18/2009 at 2:22am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy