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koelerr

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koelerr
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 289
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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koelerr's favorite FMLs

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35050) - you deserved it (6529)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26396) - you deserved it (4068)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (4577)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40892) - you deserved it (3232)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31792) - you deserved it (7250)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

#17123749
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33251) - you deserved it (5448)

On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52771) - you deserved it (9113)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML

#17004693
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47266) - you deserved it (5190)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:38pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

#17004643
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (10103)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

#17000243
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35976) - you deserved it (3228)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by THOMASisMYname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

#16830734
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (9059)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:57am - health - by chaoticnh - Austria

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41974) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40108) - you deserved it (2868)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were 'bored'. FML

#16022547
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (4308)

On 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm - misc - by missmirror (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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