kobrien1369

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Offline (the 04/12/2016 at 3:08pm)

kobrien1369

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 January 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2230
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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kobrien1369's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 4:54pm<b>arealsexybitch</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 7:23pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 6:54am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 12:19pm<b>jimmy_morton</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 11:01am<b>mhoch22</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:55pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 10:27am<b>marshm610</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Berber260</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 6:34pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:24pm<b>idkwyatt</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:22pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:33am<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:02pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 10:47pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:09am<b>Metashock</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:15pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:10pm<b>kingkobrastrikes</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 11:31am

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:54pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 4:03am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 1:23am

kobrien1369's FML badges

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kobrien1369's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

by Goldar / 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm / United States / Work

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

by WearingSomethingStringy / 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

by Annoyed Student / 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Work

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 12:59am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Love

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

by Anon / 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Transportation

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

by haku4u / 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

by Marco / 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous