About kobelstone23 : Hello. I'm 20, go to college, live in Indiana, work at a local pizza place and got the oven burns to prove it.
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kobelstone23's favorite FMLs
Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online for two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML
by heightdifference / 11/28/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by Catcrap! / 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Agax / 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
by Lockedinroom / 02/05/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/05/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
by yourmainman / 01/28/2013 at 12:03am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2013 at 3:14am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML
by poohanne / 01/12/2013 at 1:36am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a… Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell… Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he…