About kmccain : So what brought you here? Was it my guinea pig, Hamlet, one of my smart ass comments, or are you just being a stalker?
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML
I agree, your life sucks (67867) - you deserved it (3905)
On 08/03/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Tuck_My_Life (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must have been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (9494)
On 08/01/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by special-ingredient (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to the dentist to have two cavities filled. I hate the dentist. After he'd started drilling, I heard a "clunk" noise followed by an "Oops." My dentist had cut my tooth in half. Now I have to go to surgery to have the tooth extracted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43243) - you deserved it (2100)
On 07/25/2009 at 12:21am - health - by Toothy. (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34230) - you deserved it (4456)
On 07/16/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by joking0303 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39499) - you deserved it (6435)
On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, in my class I was nominated for the guy with the worst hairdo. I don't know what is worse, the fact that I was nominated or the fact that I felt let down when I did not win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34287) - you deserved it (6593)
Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32847) - you deserved it (10474)
On 04/11/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by awesome (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31127) - you deserved it (100350)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48649) - you deserved it (7074)
On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48649) - you deserved it (7074)
On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65079) - you deserved it (134700)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (124194) - you deserved it (9396)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46386) - you deserved it (9500)
On 03/21/2009 at 8:06pm - misc - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86600) - you deserved it (9387)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19669) - you deserved it (31723)
On 02/26/2009 at 9:13am - work - by Kasizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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