About kmccain : So what brought you here? Was it my guinea pig, Hamlet, one of my smart ass comments, or are you just being a stalker?
kmccain's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
kmccain's favorite FMLs
Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML
by Falafax / 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm / United States / Work
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail which splattered it into my face. FML
by shando / 11/07/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'll be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by notsohappyniece / 11/02/2009 at 11:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by acneface / 10/21/2009 at 2:59am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML
by NUsConstantine / 10/18/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Chensticles / 10/13/2009 at 9:25pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/22/2009 at 3:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
by sophistication / 08/21/2009 at 11:36am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I swerved to avoid hitting a dog that ran in front of my car. The dog was fine but I hit a road sign, ripped off my rearview mirror, and cracked my passenger side window. When I got out to examine the damage to my car, the dog growled at me. FML
by animalover / 08/13/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation
Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML
by Entheatus / 08/10/2009 at 12:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by Tuck_My_Life / 08/03/2009 at 1:15am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must have been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML
by special-ingredient / 08/01/2009 at 11:41pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…