kman1759

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kman1759

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3289
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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kman1759's page activity

Visits<b>Ryan_Alvarez</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 5:14pm<b>iuy878</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 2:38am<b>Somefruits</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 8:51pm<b>rgriff27</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 11:38pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:06pm

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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kman1759's favorite FMLs

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

by fml / 03/07/2010 at 10:46am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

by choldcreations / 03/07/2010 at 9:12am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML

by Indiana / 01/16/2010 at 12:14am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

by ohdeargodthatswrong / 01/09/2010 at 8:25am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

by leigh2812 / 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm / Love

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

by embaressed / 12/19/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

by yoyo22 / 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

by michelle91 / 12/02/2009 at 6:36am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Health

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

by inpain / 11/20/2009 at 10:51am / United States (California) / Love

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2009 at 11:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation