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kman1759

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kman1759

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2404
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (41190)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (41190)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18337) - you deserved it (41393)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48389) - you deserved it (3522)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62360) - you deserved it (4617)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29864) - you deserved it (17601)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24748) - you deserved it (3209)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42744) - you deserved it (6871)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41664) - you deserved it (12552)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14018) - you deserved it (33149)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking down the hallway when someone opened a door, smashing it into me. The bump makes it look like I have a third boob. FML

#9158160
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (3481)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:16pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML

#9095970
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13438) - you deserved it (30753)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:35am - work - by exposed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23686) - you deserved it (10028)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19571) - you deserved it (6023)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33296) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



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